Sister Abbey Hafen // Week Fourteen // "The email is too long when your back is cramping"

So like I'm not sure if pregnant jokes are funny out here on the mission, but I might as well try; I'M NOT PREGNANT! haha, my period finally came and man I was worried. I guess its pretty normal for your period to be weird when you're away from home and put in a new situation in a new country. But. Just so no one is worried, I am not pregnant. it was just like 3 weeks late.

I love having a brand new planner. YES. New cycle. Yay.

We had splits this week with the STL (sister training leaders). An answer to my prayers. It was so fun going with Sister Gardoce. I lead the area, lead all the lessons, and just AH. It was a confirmation to me that I can do this whole mission thing. I am not perfect, but I am capable. Since none of the people here knew her, I kind of had to take the lead in everything. She is filipino so of course they could talk, but for once, someone was relying on me. Things I learned from splits;

-I appreciate my trainer so much. Its a big burden to lead every lesson.

-People understand my broken tagalog- I need to stop being so afraid to mess up and just speak it more.

-Being fearless is so fun. I was so brave this day, talking to tons of people, and leading the area.

-I learned that "following up" on commiments is so important. I related it to violin. If Bonnie would have given me a all these assignments and tasks each week to do, to improve and become better, and she NEVER asked me about them... then I would feel so shafted!!! Haha, seriously! Its the same thing as a missionary. If you give an assignment, you better follow up. It is a sign of love, and that you truly believe that assigment can help them. 

-lots more.

The STLS's after the splits told us things they learned and us 4 talked about how it all went. I was the only native english speaker (both the STL's now are filipinos) so I was speaking a lot of tagalog. My trainer is SO good at english, that its so easy for me to just speak english to her, but i know that is hurting my progression in the language. Anyway, the STL's talked about our companinoship and what they noticed. They said we were such a humble companionship, that they rarely see companionships like ours, etc. It was so cool to see and hear things from others perspectives. There are so many other things I could go on about, but all I want to say is that I received so many answers to unanswered prayers that day. I just cried to the Lord in thanks. I am so blessed and watched over as a 19 year old girl in the Philippines. My problems may be small to someone else, but if its important to me, it is also important to the Lord.

That night we got in a tricee in the pouring rain, all 6 of us in one tricee (so hard) and we went to a Recent converts for a FHE. I honestly wish I was better at writing and describing, but their house is just this stone house/ cement, and then tarp for the whole front half. All 8 of us squoze around a card sized table, and squished together and ate. her husband was leaving for manila the next day and he isn't a member. We taught about the plan of salvation and after, when they dropped us off, he said that as we taught, that was the happiest he has ever felt. It's so funny, cause I thought I felt the spirit, but sometimes I doubt if it is the spirit or not, and I get confused. I am still learning how to follow the spirit, but during this lesson I kind of thought, dang I think I felt the spirit but I don't think he did. But then when we got home and Sister Suay said he said that, I just was so grateful the spirit was there. It's still hard for me to read people here, because of the language and culture, but I am SO grateful for the spirit. Our AP told us that you should never worry if the person you are teaching is feeling the spirit, becuase if you feel the spirit testifying in you, then the spirit is there. It's up to them to open their heart and accept what the spirit is making them feel.

We entered Mary Joy's (investig) family compound (like people here live with their inlaws and cousins all on one piece of land, with just like 4-5 houses, a water tap, gardens, and then a main grassy area in the middle, the whole compound fenced in) and there she is, sitting on the hammock with her two babies asleep next to her, and she's reading the book of mormon. she read 17 chapters in 6 days and is just a CHAMP. she should also be getting her birth certificate soon, which means she can get married and then baptized!!!!! AH. She is so sweet, and really one of the most humble and beautiful filipinos I have met. She wants to be baptized so bad and has been getting taught sinc 2011. Talk about patience. 

The visperaz fam (less actives), one of my faves, ah. We visited them, and it had been a little while since we had been there, cause we have had so many things to do this past week or two with National Family Week coming up (this week) and so we havent seem them in a while. The sister just expressed how she is reading every day and praying and how thats the only place she can feel okay. She said "don't get sick of visiting us okay?" They came to church the next day and it was so beautiful.

Also, one of our less actives, Sister Arsenia. We visit her RELIGIOUSLY ever week (haha punny) and she never comes to church. They own a bukid (rice field) and so they work sunday. This past time we visited her, I asked her if she would come to church. She gave some excuses and I just promised her blessings. SHE CAME TO CHURCH. I REPEAT. She came. She came!!!!! It was so beautiful seeing her there in the congregation. We were so happy. sister policarpio, our recently returned member, is just a stalwart member now. she invited her and came with her. she is the best and despite the realy really really crappy things that have been happening to her, RIGHT after she started coming back to church, she has been still been faithful. The people here, ah. I know I keep saying it, but I am just amazed.

We have been having choir practices for Family week the past few weeks, and that has been fun.national family week is like the NFL in america. like HUGE DEAL. I am playing my violin for the choir and AH it has been so great. I am so grateful for the talent I have been given, especially here. they have never heard or seen a real violin in real life. After one choir practice, i just bore testimony... of my testimony of music. i explainedthat is how i first gained a testimony. I realized that there was something so different when i played in church, versus when i was competing and playing in front of a judge. there was something so different about a judge telling me how talented i was and raving on about the performance versus after sacrament, feeling someone grab my arm from behind, teary eyed, and saying "thank you"

 I played in sacrament meeting yesterday, (just me, no accompaniast) and boy it was a different experience, but one that I will never forget. I was praying so hard the entire meeting while sitting on the stand that the spirit would be there. since the chapel is tile and the benches are wood, it gets SO LOUD in there. and there are a zillion kids. and everyone is filipino. that combo is loud! haha. so as i was playing, people in the congregation were softly singing, completely off tune. at first i thought what the heck, thats sorude! but i realized when i looked up that they were all smiling. i felt the spirit so strong as i played and thought of the words of the hymns i played. after the meeting, a return missionary talked to me and he said "wow your gift is amazing. as soon as you began to play every one listened. no one was talking and all the kids stopped being loud. they all watched you. and that is a gift. it was beautiful, sister." 

I am so grateful to be here and AM SO BLESSED. i love it here and every morning when I wake up, I just am so happy. When I feel tired, crappy, alone, or anything I just think about how fast time is going. And I am runing out of time. One thing Grant told me before I left was "this is the time where you really can be that one person you have always wanted to be. so just do it. be that person."

I really am trying to do that. I want to be that one person. I have realized so many things about myself out here. I can't believe so many things I never knew about myself before; good and bad. I am so grateful for my trainer, and have been praying for her since the MTC. I love her and honestly, she is perfect for me. She is everythign I am not; humble. patient. quiet. simple. and so beautiful. I am learning so much from her.

We got a new investigator this week and sister acoba extended a baptisimal invitationthe first lesson! he is 11 and is part member family. he accepted and the lessons have been so good sicne. he is so cute and really just like, way cool. WAY cool for an 11 year old. AH. I love him. And am excited to teach someone from the very beginning and see them progress.

I am obsessed again with the book of mormon. I want to know everything about it and am loving reading it. sister suay has been obsessed with the bible, so when you walk into our apartment as we are waiting to shower or waiting for something, we are all noses in our scriptures. haha its so funny.

I am done writing. my back is cramping up. But i just want to say that I have never known so SURELY that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the World. Joseph Smith is a true prophet. Answers to prayers come often times through PEOPLE, so that being said, WE can be the answers to people's prayers. I am so different than I was before my mission. i can feel the change happening. I love being here and I love this gospel more than anything.

Peace out, homeslices.

-Sister Hafen

Haha best sticker ever!

Visperaz kids and some from their neighborhood :)

Sister Abbey Hafen // Week Thirteen // "Constipated"

So yeah. I've been constipated all week. That is usually kind of a personal thing, right? nope. not here. totally normal to talk about it at the dinner table. How do I know that? because we did talk about it... Every dinner appt I think the topic came up. HA. I was taking a lot of IB profin because my ankle was bothering me, so maybe that did it. But like, 3-4 days without a BM? Yeah, something's wrong. I boiled okrah, drank tons of water, a laxitive pill, ducolex, and yeah. "konte kontelang" just a little here and there. Haha. I feel much better today though. Cross your fingers for me though.

So this week was by far the most difficult week of my mission so far. (<------ and I'm sure there will be plenty of weeks in the future that I will be able to say that again.) I really don't want to go into detail, but the culture difference really just caught up to me & the sisters in our apartment and our branch leaders. 

I can say without a doubt, one of the worst feelings in the world is when you have offended someone on accident. That feeling of "oh no." and your stomach just does a thousand flips.

We are fine now, really. Just great. I love the sisters I live with, I love my companion, I love the branch, and I love being a missionary. I love the Philippines and know I was sent here to learn so many things.

It's funny how sometimes when there's a problem, really the only problem is YOURSELF. The Lord really is displaying ALL of my weaknesses and this week I felt as if my strengths were disappearing- just fading away. And all my weaknesses were in the spotlight. 

Something from my LTP this week (letter to the president):

"President, all is well. I am learning how to be patient. And how to be humble. I was very scared this week because I think the Lord looked at my "list of weaknesses" record in the file cabinet of "Sister Abbey Hafen" and decided to put them all on display. I felt my strengths disappearing and felt very weak. I felt very nervous, because what will I do without my strengths? But that is what I realized this week: that is THE POINT. To realize that by my strengths alone, I can't make it. I HAVE to rely on the Lord. I have to understand that I cannot do it alone. I need him."

The point of being here really isn't to rely on my own merits. No no no. There's no way I could have survived if I only had my own merits thus far. NO WAY. Noooo waaaay. It really is to rely on the Lord and let him work through me to make those weaknesses----> strengths. After I realized that, after I realized that my weaknesses were in the highlight, I finally surrendered and fell back on my Father in Heaven and my Savior, Jesus Christ. Then.. I began to see strengths. I began to see that, yes. Abbey Hafen is supposed to be here in the Philippines, she is supposed to be here even if at times it is frustrating, lonely, scary, questionable. I was called here by a prophet of God to declare salvation unto HIS people.  

Some things from the week:

-so we're cleaning the apartment and president stops by. oh hey president, i'm just in no bra, no makeup, and my justin bieber shirt. the first things presidents wife says is "the biebs?" haha.

-some guy passed us on a tricee and yelled "pday!!" i'm secretly hoping he was an RM.

-i am understanding more and more tagalog. i still feel like i can't say much, but they say thats normal.

-Farewell fireside for all the missionaries leaving. fun to see all the people i knew and loved from the mtc again!

-loved getting "real" letters from Amber Blackburn, Emilee Dickerson,  Grandma Hafen and a PACKAGE from Ers!!!!!

-I love my mission president and his wife so much.

-came home from the fireside to a "brownout" hahahaah thats what they call it when the power goes out. Haha. and the water was off all day today. no showers for us!!! 

-new peeps in the zone. its huge. maybe like 40 people? maybe 50? sooo many.the work is being hastened here!

-"hello beautiful" - random people on the street. why thank you.. :) Haha. 

-my trainer is the best and I love her.

-that feeling of complete excitement and pure love when someone you taught and prayed so hard for that week, walks into the sacrament meeting: ahh- EUPHORIA. Thank you Heavenly Father! Gosh, he is so mindful.

-spoke in church this week. in tagalog (kind of).

We had some really beautiful lessons this week. I am getting better at teaching and I love it. It's hard to feel like you're inviting the spirit when there is that language barrier, but its so true- it doesn't matter; the SPIRIT doesn't speak english or tagalog, it is its own unique language.

My trainer really is the ultimate teacher. So simple, teaches straight doctrine, and keeps people interested. She's the best and I get to learn from her every day. I love teaching lessons, I love 'em. I love the people here in Alicia, Isabela, Philippines. AH.

We had a family home evening with a recent convert who's husband isn't a member, and their family is really struggling at this time. We talked about prayer, the family proclamation, and played games. I can't always say what I want because of the language barrier, but I am so glad the spirit was there as I talked of Family Prayer. I am also grateful that before the misson I was already a champ at facial expressions and actions when I tell stories :) We were dying laughing at the family home evening and I always have some story or funny reaction that gets everyone laughing. Hahahaha.

So many of our investigators are ready to be baptized, but there are things stopping them. Either unsupportive guardians, no money to get a certificate of marriage, no money to officially get annuled (divorced), etc. It's so hard because they are ready. We keep teaching them and teaching them, and they are so prepared. When I get discouraged for them as we're teaching or just wishing that there was a way and thinking in my head 'i wish i could give you money', I just picture them dressed in white. I picture them in the font on their baptism day, maybe ten years from now. I picture them soo happy. They are all staying so strong, which would be SO hard. They read the Book of Mormon, and each of them are so excited to share the things they learned from their reading with us, they come to church, they are "celestial" (as brother king would say). 

I feel like this email is lame, but maybe it's caused I really am just exhausted. Missions are tiring, but the best tiring feeling in the universe. 

I think the scariest but funnest thing here in the misson is OYM- open your mouth. It's just randomly contacting people in the van, on the road, whereever. I did one on our way here. It's scary cause I ask a question but then I can't always understand their response. But they know I'm american (i'm not sure how, maybe the red hair and freckles give it away) so they are always nice. It's such a THRILL. I get so nervous everytime but after, I feel like I\m on CLOUD NINE THOUSAND!! haha. 

Some funny filipino quotes this week from my companion and roommate. 

-After I got Eric's package that had jerky in it and gave my companion a piece, she said, "I've only heard of jerky on cartoons." I was dying. She loved the jerky so much. Thanks ers.

and the best one, from Sister Suaybaguio. 

"Sister Hafen."

"..Yeah?"

"When you tell jokes, like, it's hard for me to move on."

"What do you mean?!"

"Like, I lay in bed and I just laugh to myself at what you said earlier in the day."

HAHA.

It's true what they say: the happiest and saddest times happen on your mission. The most rewarding and the most dissappointing. The greatest and the worst. You feel you Heavenly Father's presence more some days, and others you feel like you're completely alone. After some experiences, you KNOW you were called to your mission for a reason- and other days you wonder why in the HECK you're here.

This week was hard. It was hard. But I realize that the times it's the hardest, are when I think of myself. When I forget about myself, things start to go a lot smoother. Huh. Funny how that works. Funny how the Savior, in his perfection, never EVER thought of himself. Hmm. Looks like I have some work to do. 

Over and out.

-Sister Hapen

The Filipino Sizzle!

The sisters in our zone. Holy cow its huge.

Zone meeting! Me and my companion with our STL's. That shirt i'm wearing is from our old STL Sister T. I love her.

My fan club in Gumbauan.

Some sisters form my district!

On our way to the fireside.

Another birthday party for a ward member.. haha Filipinos love getting those signs made.

Birthday party for our investigators daughter. Happy Birthday, baby Princess! (The one she's holding.)

Birthday party for our investigators daughter.

Birthday party for our investigators daughter.

Fireside.

Fireside.

Fireside.

YSA fireside.

How I felt about our day haha.

Haha I barely made it in.

The CR (bathroom).

The classrooms.

Me and Tribal.

Pound it!

The school.

CSP.