Sister Abbey Hafen // Week Thirty-Five // "My Days Are Numbered..."

Another week, what the heck. Seriously, time is flying- I couldn't believe P-Day came around AGAIN. This morning we went to the Co's house for personal study and companionship study- their land is soo big and so quiet, so all 8 of us sisters here in Alicia went out there to study and eat lunch for pday. It was so peaceful and we really enjoyed ourselves. I brought my violin and played as we sang hymns. It was so peaceful and we all just had time to relax and think about where the heck we are right now and how grateful we are that we're here. Awesome awesome morning. I was reminded and filled with love of this earth- seriously beautiful.

The week was good, I really just do not know what kind of things you want to hear about... i never know if i'm boring or if the things i share make sense. ha!

We went on splits with our Sister Training Leaders and it was AWESOME. I really needed them and learned so much- they always seem to answer questions or fears or thoughts I didn't realize I had. It was so awesome. I know they were inspired (the splits) because I realized that in a new area, new companion, new investigators, I still felt that same feeling inside as I taught and listened to them, as I feel when I teach the people in our area. It calmed to and reassured me that everything's gonna be just fine when i leave my first area :)

One thing I've noticed more and more, is the love the people here (members and nonmembers) have for the missionaries. It's just something I didn't really know because I never really knew the missionaries in St. George or Salt Lake (which now that I'm a missionary, I am ashamed of) There's just not a set of missionaries for every ward in Utah, like there is here (but here there are 4 or 6 in each ward!) They literally are honored when we are in their homes or stop by, and i really feel like they know we are representatives of our Savior, even when they aren't members of the church. We have been accepted so well lately by the people we meet and they truly are so open to learn more and build a better relationship with our Savior- something I can't say I would be the same as if I wasn't born in the church. 

. Another thing I have noticed more and more is how much satan wants to pull us down. He knows if he can get one missionary (or one child of God) to have an off day, he's gonna effect more than just that one missionary. I experienced that feeling of weakness one night this week, a feeling that has not come in looong time, a feeling that I thought I had overcome and had 'done away with'. It was scary and it was lonely. I was thinking about how many miracles and blessings we've had, how progressing our investigators are, the experiences they are having, and everything I have experienced and been given here in Alicia and thought, oh no where I am headed off to this next transfer (next wednesday). I then began to reflect if I really have done my best. I became so overwhelmed and began to feel so nervous if I had really done my best here. And I just began to feel so guilty for all the blessings we have and have received. Satan took a mean twist on me and the worst part is I let him- I felt so unworthy for the blessings and love that I've been receiving from Heavenly Father. After some tears, prayers, sleep, and my companion, I came to the conclusion that we are never really worthy for all the blessings we receive. We really aren't deserving of the things we receive every day- but what's important, is that we're grateful. And that we do everything we can to show how grateful we are. By living worthily and by doing our best everyday- by turning outward like the Savior with every decision we are faced with. Everyday we are just moving- either forward or backward, it's up to us.

I shook off that little creature that was sitting on my shoulder that day (satan) and told him to get out. These past few days have been awesome and I just feel so happy all day because I realize how blessed I am. Instead of feeling guilty, I just feel overwhelmed with love. 

Speaking of blessings straight from the heavens, our family referral investigators were all at church yesterday- they were a complete family :) They also have a baptismal date for March 22. and our other 2 investigators who are siblings attended the baptismal service of Alicia 3 and now both want to be baptized. Their date is the 29th. It's hard not to feel sad that I won't be there for that day, but I know that the baptism is just a day- I feel so lucky to be a part of their story!

Okay well that's it for this week- "I love my life" <--- the phrase everyone knows me here for. Also "oh no... i hate everything" hahaha. Just know that I'm still kickin' it here in the philps and loving every day. I spoke in church yesterday and it was actually fun.

the days are numbered here in Alicia...

Love,

sister abbey hafen